Life is never as simple as it we want. There are so many things that throw us into a topsy-turvy hell that makes it so hard to focus. Often times, it’s impossible to see the forest for the trees and sometimes what must be done is clear as day. I’ve been in a personal “what-the-fuck” for the longest time. Sure, depression plays a role in some of this, but much of it stems from a lack of awareness and a limited supply of confidence. I’ve grown restless and very tired of this mundane existence- not unhappy, just tired.
So I took some time off. Some time to recalibrate and to decide on my next move.
See, I’m a planner but not really a doer. I can plan with the best of them but stepping off the cliff- taking the leap doesn’t come easily. I’m brave and often am willing to face the things I fear yet the moments before, courage takes leave and I’m stuck. So have decided to not think too much about what I want to do. I made a decision to set some things right and rather than planning, I’m doing.
So what am I doing?
I’m living. I am eating better and trying to spend time with my family more. I am excited about homeschooling (we start again on Monday) and am looking forward to all of the activities we have there. I am reading although it’s probably more accurate to say that I am devouring books. Oh, and I am writing again.
And you are spending more time with us. And we have noticed that you are already happier. Love you.
Twitter: callmeKristinaB
says:
Yes I am. You guys are my center!
And you know what, I for one really like you!
Sounds inane. But I’ve liked what you said on forums, and the energy you put out into the world. It isn’t silly, it isn’t aggressive, but it is a nice firm in-between.
Both blogs that I have read of yours are interesting, visually and what is a word that means the stuff I am reading-ly.
You actually inspire me to live a life more full of personal integrity. Instead of negating, it is okay to be what I am! Whatever that is, and from the sounds of things you feel your you changes!!
Peach OUT! ( i meant to write peace, but I think I may adopt Peach out as meme!)
Twitter: callmeKristinaB
says:
Aww , thank you so much! Yes, I change- -all the time and I firmly believe that recognizing that I change and therefore changing my expectations is the best way to stay sane (and to keep from falling into a pit of depression). FInding friendships and support online has been a life saver for me as I tend to be somewhat of a loner (apart from my hubby). So your comment gives me some much needed validation!