I lost my virginity at a young age- between 8th and 9th grades. I was in no way prepared for that responsibility and my reasons for having sex were very warped. I never felt pretty or liked. Having sex was an ego boost for me. Boys wanted something that I had, and when I gave it to them it was proof that I was liked.
If my daughter became sexually active at the same age I did, I would not be happy because I don’t think a 13-14 year old understands the responsibility of sex. I don’t think that children are capable of handling sex appropriately. They do it for all the wrong reasons and they are too afraid to learn how to protect themselves. And even when the best tools are given to them, children are easily persuaded by the promise of forever, love, and just once.
My goal is to focus on enabling my daughter to love herself, and to respect herself. I want her to be self-aware and to understand that she must love herself before she can offer anyone anything of substance. Unfortunately, there are tons of reasons that my job will be hard. There are contradicting messages of what it means to be female, powerful, and beautiful. There are politicians who want to take down some of the only organizations that actually provide real sex education. But I will approach it from a very simple point: sex should not be used as a personality trait. It is not something to be done so people like you. If I can teach my daughter how to be a whole person, then when she does decide to have sex, I will be OK. And so will she.
The Question: If your children are sexually active at the same age that you were, will that be OK with you? Is it the same for your daughters as it is for your sons?
When I read your title, I said, “What the hell?” In answer to your questions:
I, too, lost my virginity at a tender age; had no business having sex at 14. I am very open and honest with my kids about my experience and consequences as a result because I don’t want them to make the same mistake. It would NOT be ok with me if they were sexually active at 14.
It is the same for my daughters and son! It’s an age where they’re not mature enough to be having sex.
Twitter: callmeKristinaB
says:
Shock value is definitely a way to get you here! Thanks for commenting. What I should have added in the posts is that I think if I educate my daughter on the truths about sex and if I enable her with the tools that she needs to make the right decisions, I hope that she would realize that waiting is probably the best thing for her!