This is supposed to be my year of ACTION. A new year in which I accomplish my goals. I just have not been able to set them yet.
I am having such a hard time figuring out what to do with this blog. I named it “Mom on the Rise” because of the Maya Angelou poem “Still I Rise.” My mom thought that having a child (even after married and in my late 20s) was the end of my life. But I always felt that it was the beginning of a new one. I am a Mom, and still I rise. I completed my Master’s Degree and started a business.
But then I got tired.
I thought about letting it go and then about writing in more of a focused niche. And yet, neither has has sat well with me. I love this blog. The design. Some of the posts that I have written in the past. I’m not sure what the heck is keeping me from writing. Maybe it’s because I have WAY too many blogs. Or maybe it’s the web designing, consulting and running We of Hue….
Obviously, I tend to spread myself too thin. I have a problem saying “no” to people and focusing on what I want to do. In some ways, I think that I prevent myself from focusing because I don’t want to commit 100% and then fail. Or maybe it’s because I keep trying to live out the definition of “mom blogger” as set by others. Truthfully, I have been making decisions based on what I SHOULD be doing (as dictated by others) as opposed to what I want to do for a long time. It’s the result of coming from a very overbearing mom who really did not like when my sister’s and I make our own decisions. I became a teacher because that was the safe (in that it was a steady paycheck) thing to do. I became a work-at-home mom because my mom told me that my husband would get tired of taking care of me and that I had to contribute financially.
Building a business, blogging, and social media are all consuming. Too consuming. And I’m not the only one who thinks that. My daughter watches too much TV and plays too many video games. For months she has been telling me to spend more time with her. She is 4 and won’t want this for long! but deep inside I still believe that there is a way to continue writing (my passion) and living. Others have figured out how to do it.
In general, I am recommitting myself to my family, my hobbies, and homeschooling. I will be focusing more on getting healthy but physically and mentally. And I will be writing (SOMEWHERE) more. I have been making steps to purge some of the baggage in my life. As much as I love web design, I am taking a break (unless the job is so good I cannot resist). I am also taking a break from We of Hue, until I can focus on building it the way that I want, and I am not going to be doing much consulting work anymore. I have a part-time job and will continue doing that, but everything else?
The next week I will be doing some soul searching. What do you do to help find the answers to the questions plaguing your mind?
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kristina Brooke and Affiliate Marketing. Affiliate Marketing said: Work-at-home Mom and Living: is it possible — Mom on the Rise http://bit.ly/hKx31z [...]
Hi Kristina
I think blogging becomes harder the longer you do it and if you take a break it becomes even harder to come back. Not the writing itself I always enjoy that but commenting on so many new people’s blogs. Finding yourself having to explain old issues. Thinking “but I used to be a somebody in the the blogosphere!”
That said when I need to think I write and find it helps most if I blog it even if the post isn’t really about the problem. I will think of a problem and write an entire short story on something so different yet by disguising the problem I somehow work it out. Or I whine! Not much anymore–it doesn’t feel good–but sometimes
And I have gotten much through my blog so I shouldn’t complain
Thanks for a thought provoking post that’s not about the top ten subjects making the blogosphere–mostly taken from twitter I think!
What do you do to help find the answers to the questions plaguing your mind?
I write. LoL . . . but I write in a journal. A beautiful journal with a beautiful pen. I sit at my altar and write till I work it out. Sometimes my hand starts to cramp and I think I should just go type it out. But there’s something about the act of writing that is soothing to me and that helps me to get clarity about things. It’s amazing. Sometimes I go back and read some things I’ve written and how I’ve worked out issues and I can hardly believe it. I’m a writer to my core I realize . . . I need to write. It is life.
Thanks for commenting Chi-Chi. you are right, writing has definitely been a stress reliever for me in the past but I have not been doing much of it. Truthfully, it is this blog. I don’t like it anymore which is why after this post I realized that i needed to break free. Please follow me to My Mercurial Nature (http://www.mymercurialnature.com).